1000 Years of Annoying the French

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The War Cabinet had the final word, and Churchill agreed to Britain’s continued championing of de Gaulle. During the Falklands War for example, the right wing press in the UK insisted that the French were helping Argentina because the equipment used in the invasion had been sold to them by the French. It's to be hoped he's written a similar book from a French perspective, given that he now lives and works in Paris! In many cases, as the book has a clear anti-French bias (albeit tongue-in-cheek apparently) Clarke takes pains to point out where our common understanding of the influence of France on history is misplaced.

Who knew that modern champagne was invented in England, that Dom Perignon tried to remove the fizziness from the French stuff because the bottles kept exploding whereas the English went crazy for it and the fizzier the better? Edith Piaf and Coco Chanel: both were pro Nazi (to add to the fun, on page 448 the Wehrmacht troops are depicted whistling “Non Rien de Rien”, a song that has only been written in 1960 by Charles Dumont. In it they will find a full supply of delightful anecdotes, giving them all the amunitions they need to silence the arrogant French. It’s not tactless or provocative – relations couldn’t be better between the British Embassy and their French hosts – it’s simply there. As a vote Remainer listening to this beautifully read explanation of why we have no option but to Leave helps with the pain and will help with the future angst.The humorous aspect of the book also gave it a very irreverent tone, which didn't bother me except that it too often derailed in salacious gossipy remarks that were often NOT entirely true or based in fact. Not surprisingly, these aspects are key in establishing the book's unique charm - un très bon read, overall! In another memorandum to Eden, Churchill includes intelligence information that he said described de Gaulle as "thoroughly unfriendly both to Britain and to the United States and that while affecting communist sympathies he had fascist tendencies. And, of course, there's nothing humorous about goodness or kindness or noble deeds, so you will finish the book thinking there hasn't been a single moment of true courage or goodness or self sacrifice in a thousand years of history.

Images of dramatic encounters with les Français flashed before my eyes, until it got me to the point that I could identify the main cause: a traumatic experience from my childhood in which an extremely fat monsieur shouted at me for not having a ticket for the carousel. He takes delight in pointing out that William the Conqueror was not French and that he loathed them as much as they loathed him and his barbaric Norman ways. We've cooperated with America pretty amicably on projects like liberating Europe and inventing pop music. While whenever the British won, the British author can’t help but gloat over the British superiority and kick down on the French.As tongue in cheek as the title sounds, this is an informative history book that charts 1000 years of Anglo-French mutual adoration loathing. This is a very long book, nearly 700 pages, as might be expected from a book that covers a millenium's worth of Anglo-French relations in great detail. But the famous and infamous have been thrilling, titillating, and outraging us for much longer than we might realise. As well all know, the English have always taken a tongue-in-cheek pride at infuriating our near neighbours across the water and this book does true justice to this now, thankfully, peaceful continental rivalry. I found the bits about the channel tunnel and entering the EU particularly interesting, because those are bits that I really knew very little about and -- given Brexit -- are quite timely.

The 'corrections' to the French interpretation of events were often amusing and enlightening, but I began to wonder how biased the 'factual' corrections were. On hindsight, this is a really good book to get yourself familiar with the history of these two countries, even if you're not from either of them. The French leader "hates England and has left a trail of Anglophobia behind him everywhere," Churchill wrote. Amongst all the good natured ribbing, Stephen Clarke gives an interesting history lesson on these two countries peppered with anecdotes and trivia. The author also concludes this book by saying: “we can proudly affirm that, right down at DNA level, we’re not the same as the French.and «There was some traffic in the other direction, the most famous example being ‘My Way’, which is an English-language adaptation of the French song ‘Comme d’habitude’ (‘As Usual’) by Claude François. The ministers said such a radical policy change was dangerous and cast doubt on some of the unfavorable reports about de Gaulle. In 2004, he self-published A Year in the Merde, a comic novel skewering contemporary French society. He has now re-emerged to ask modern Parisians why they have forgotten some of the true democratic heroes of the period, and opted to idolize certain maniacs. After all those "oh, but this French thing isn't French, it was borrowed from Britain, Austria or somewhere else!

The reading of it could not be any better, the writing is witty, and it is an absolute gem of a book, one of the few I can see myseof listening to time after time.

I realize that any book that gives a balanced view of history is going to irritate French people a lot. Someone who would tax them half to death but who might just keep them alive long enough to pay the taxes – a lot like modern governments, in fact. But exactly the same thing can be said about the French and the all English-speakers – no matter what we try to do in the present, the past will always march up and slap us in the face. In short, the French are quite right to suspect that the last 1,000 years have been one long British campaign to infuriate them.