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The Best Ever Book of Swedish Jokes: Lots and Lots of Jokes Specially Repurposed for You-Know-Who

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This Swede was taking a pee on the side of a building and this Englishman sees him. After the Swede is done the English bloke asks him, "How come you Swedes don't wash your hands after you pee?" But if you go beyond comedy and look at the jokes people themselves make in person or on social media, you can still make out national differences. I don’t know anyone (Swedish or otherwise) who doesn’t have at least something from IKEA in their home. But no, Swedes don’t buy all their furniture from IKEA. Unless they’re students. Students definitely have all-IKEA furnishings. US sitcoms are also popular but it’s the archetypal British satire that has endured. “Fawlty Towers and Monty Python are as popular today as they ever were,” he adds. Unsurprisingly, Engman cannot provide an academic explanation for the appeal in Sweden of The Benny Hill Show. A man decided to tattoo his wife’s name on his pen*s. When hard it reads Wendy on the side of his shaft. When soft it only reads Wy.

They formed S.U.C.K (Stand Up Comedy Klubben) which soon found its home at Norra Brunn on Surbrunnsgatan and has since become Sweden’s comedy Mecca. Nowadays, Oredsson is something of a stand up veteran, with over 1,000 performances to his name. “I think the Swedes are rather funny and humour is a survival kit you need here.” Quite.

2. Embrace being boring

If you’re “on the cinnamon” in Swedish then you’re unlikely to be baking. This funny Swedish phrase is just one of many to mean “drunk” and its exact origin isn’t easily traced. Listen to possibly most subjective episode of “Sweden And…” on iTunes or anywhere else where you get your podcasts. A Norwegian went to a museum. The tour guide was explaining: “This sword is over 2500 years old.” The Norwegian paused for a second to think about it and then asked: “How is that possible? We are only in the year 2022.” Danes and Swedes both like to claim tongue-in-cheek that the Norwegian word for shark is kjempetorsk, which means "giant cod", or that the word for "popcorn" is eksploderende majs, literally "exploding maize" .

Du är inte den vassaste kniven i lådan = “You aren’t the sharpest knife in the drawer” (suggests that someone isn’t among those who generally excel in one way or another)The Scandinavians was published in 1966, so that joke predates the Joke War by nearly ten years, and according to af Klintberg, the relatively few jokes Scandinavians made about each other before this time tended to build on stereotypes, such as that Norwegians are ridiculously nationalistic (which annoyed the Swedes and Danes, who had both controlled Norway in the past), Danes are workshy and pleasure-seeking, and Swedes are uptight and moralistic. My Grandpa said, “Your generation relies too much on technology!” I replied, “No, your generation relies too much on technology!” Then I unplugged his life support.

In Sweden, wages are typically higher than in other places. It’s up to employers to pay workers a decent living wage, so these workers don’t have to rely on fluctuating amounts of tips to keep a roof over their heads.

Road Trips

The lines are drawn: The Swedish war of words against Norwegians ought to be viewed against the 1905 partition between their countries The Spanish guy sitting next to her asks what's wrong and she replies that 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in a drug bust. A man goes to the beach and sees a woman with no legs and no arms, crying by the shoreline. He asks her what ́s wrong. The missionary, having been a devout Christian his entire life, asked to see the child. Upon viewing the baby, it became clear that this baby was an albino.

Another spice-related funny Swedish phrase, the “sum of the cardamom” is a common way to sum up a story. It’s got nothing to do with cardamom, but it rhymes and rolls off the tongue nicely. Try it!It’s a well-known unwritten law across this globe of ours that one must learn how to insult someone and swear in a foreign language before one truly is accepted among the locals.

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